Packing a Hospital Maternity Bag

So, I’ve now reached 35 weeks and, try as I might, there is no escaping the fact that I’m having a baby. People keep asking me if I’m scared about the labour, and my reply tends to be “I’ve sort of painted myself into a corner here, this thing is coming out one way or another. No point panicking!”

That said, there is still plenty to have a little panic about. One of those things was packing the hospital bag. I feel like this is one of the defining moments: The minute that bag is packed, zipped up and ready to go, that means it’s definitely real. I Am Ready. Labour could happen any weeks now, and I have a bag to prove it.

I naively thought I would be swanning into the hospital with a lovely weekend bag, with just the essentials, but in reality those essentials take up a hell of a lot of room, so I’ve ended up with something twice the size. Admittedly, I did read every single hospital bag checklist in existence, so I’m sure you could cut out some extraneous matter, but I thought I would share what I have deemed ‘necessary’ for labour and afterwards, just in case you’re feeling a bit lost about what to include in your own.

For Mum:

• Birth Plan
• Old nightie for labour
• New nightie for after (make sure it can be rearranged for breastfeeding!)
• socks (x3)
• Cheap pants (I went to a discount store and bought a multipack of pants I wouldn’t mind throwing away. Something about disposable paper pants just doesn’t sit right with me. Don’t forget to buy a size up - those maternity pads are substantial!)
• Light dressing gown (I’ll be giving birth in July - if you’re a winter mummy-to-be, a heavier gown might suit.)
• Slippers
• Fluffy Towel
• Hairband/Hairclips
• Breast Pads
• Maternity Pads
• Toiletries - 

shampoo

conditioner

shower gel (perfume free is best for delicate bits!)

sponge

facial wipes

deodorant

makeup (just the basics, but still!)

moisturiser

• Clothes for journey home (something comfy!)

For baby:

• towel
• blanket
• scratch mitts
• sleepsuits (x2)
• vest suit (x2)
• bibs
• socks
• nappies (I’m taking a whole pack of newborn sized nappies, just in case. In case of what I don’t know, but I’ll take loads anyway!)
• Going home outfit (A nice outfit you want to first show them off in!)

Miscelleneous:

• Snacks for labour - I hear it’s a long process! Things like energy bars, lucozade, well, basically anything that will give you sugar or glucose for energy are recommended. As I have gestational diabetes, I will be taking cheese and nuts as snacks instead. (Check with your midwife though to make sure you’re allowed to eat once admitted!)
• Books/music/magazines - Again, long process. But OH and I have had a lovely time making a playlist for this special occasion.
• Massage oil (Might as well take advantage!)
• Mobile phone charger
• Mobile Phone - for pictures, videos, and spreading the good news!

So, I think that’s everything I’m taking. I’m sure I’ve forgotten something, but baby brain is a terrible thing. I highly recommend the lists provided over at BabyCentre, Bounty, Emma’s Diary and OhBaby.co.nz, if you’re looking for some handy yet extensive checklists.

I do love a list, especially a checklist.

Anxious about my anxiety: Mental Health and Pregnancy

So, I’m now 31 weeks pregnant, which means the countdown to D-day is on. I spend most of my time panicking about literally everything that can possibly be panicked about. Are we ready? Is the nursery ready? Is the kitchen clean? Do | have enough nappies? Are they the right nappies? The questions feel endless, like I don’t have enough time in the day to worry about them all!

But there is one particular worry that I have been fighting with ever since I found out I was pregnant. I use the word ‘fighting’ because I know that if I don’t keep on top of it, it will overpower me, and I’ll have lost the battle before I’ve even begun. That worry is my mental health. 

Will I be sane enough to raise a baby?

I have never met another mum-to-be who, like me, is battling with depression and anxiety. I know they’re out there, though. So I want to say to any other mums out there that might be having it rough and wondering if they can do it: You can do it. There is all sorts of help out there. Since I fell pregnant, I have changed anti-depressants 3 times (finally settled Sertraline, which I can breastfeed with), I have had numerous meetings with my hospitals Antenatal Mental Health Team, been referred for further counselling and had a visit from Social Services.

It’s hard to convince myself that I’m still a good mum-to-be, especially when speaking to Social Services. There’s a certain level of stigma associated with a visit like that, but it’s important to remember that they aren’t visiting me to judge me, they want to help. All of these professionals are there to help. I have found that the best way I can deal with my own demons regarding all this is to simply brazen it out. If a co-worker asks what appointment I’m missing work for, I simply say ‘I have a lady coming out to make sure I’m not a lunatic before little one arrives.’ This is often met with shock, or disapproval, but I’m not going to let my mental issues become my dirty little secret.

I think the only way to truly deal with having something wrong with your brain at a time like this, when it feels so important to get everything just right, is to be brave, be honest, and accept that nobody is perfect. Sure, maybe the other ladies at your antenatal class have never spent 4 hours straight staring at a wall wishing they didn’t exist, but then, maybe they have. And everything is changing now. Every new mum is scared, and every single one has a problem of their own that they are fighting. Just know that you aren’t alone.

Of course, it’s all very well for me to say this, when I’m feeling positive and excited about my new arrival. I know that staying upbeat is going to be hard, and it’s just going to get harder the older my son gets. What will I do when we go to the park and I’m too crippled by anxiety to interact with other people? How about those days when I feel like I physically can not leave my house, but he has to be somewhere? What do I say when my innocent little child asks why mummy’s arms are covered in scars?

I guess I’ll just keep worrying, because it’s better than just ignoring the problem. I’ll constantly worry, and then when the time comes, I’ll face those fears head on. Not because I’m strong, or brave, or inspirational. Just because by then I’ll be a mum, and I’ll do what every other mum in the world does: Whatever I have to.